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Here are some tips for having conversations with children of all ages.
Talking to kids about drugs and alcohol can feel awkward, even intimidating. You might worry they’ll tune you out, get defensive or think you don’t trust them. But avoiding the topic won’t make the risks go away. Kids are exposed to messages about drugs and alcohol earlier than most parents realize, and if you’re not the one shaping their understanding of and feelings about the topic, someone else will be.
Your words matter more than you might think. Studies show that children and teens who talk openly with their parents about the risks of drugs and alcohol are less likely to use them. It’s not about delivering a lecture or scaring them. It’s about being clear, building trust, showing support and giving them tools to make healthy choices.
Here are three important things to discuss with your kids and teens, along with tips on how to approach each conversation so it sticks:
Explain why drugs and alcohol are harmful. Start with the basics, such as what these substances do to the body and mind, and why they’re especially risky for young people. Keep your explanation simple and avoid medical jargon or long science lessons. Make it personal, not preachy, and stick to clear, relatable examples, like how alcohol can make you more likely to have an accident or how drugs can affect school performance and sports.
Set your expectations and rules. Kids need to know exactly where you stand. Be direct, explain your reasons clearly and don’t be afraid to set consequences for breaking the rules. Just make sure those consequences are realistic and consistent.
Discuss how to handle peer pressure and stress. Common reasons teens turn to drugs or alcohol are to fit in or cope with stress. Acknowledge that these pressures are real and suggest healthier alternatives, like exercise, music, hobbies or talking to someone they trust. Let them know it’s okay to come to you if they’re feeling pressure or are having a hard time. Reassure them they won’t get in trouble for being honest about their feelings or experiences. This builds trust, making it more likely they’ll reach out before making a risky choice.
It’s also a good idea to talk with kids about what to do in risky situations. Role-play how to say no, using short, simple phrases like “No thanks” or “I’m not into that.” Give them an exit plan, such as calling or texting you if they feel pressured. This not only sets boundaries but shows you’re there to help.
Let kids know you care about their well-being by saying things like “I want you to be healthy, safe and able to make good decisions. Drugs and alcohol can get in the way of that.” When kids feel you’re on their side and are not just enforcing rules, they’re more likely to listen.
When to Have These Conversations
It’s never too early to start having talks about this important topic. Start young, even in elementary school, using age-appropriate language. Keep the conversations going through middle and high school, using everyday moments, like a news story, movie scene or school event, as natural openers. The goal isn’t one “big talk” but a series of small conversations that happen over time. By providing information, setting boundaries and expressing your support, you give your child the knowledge and confidence to make safer choices now and in the years ahead.
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Date Last Reviewed: August 21, 2025
Editorial Review: Andrea Cohen, Editorial Director, Baldwin Publishing, Inc. Contact Editor
Medical Review: Perry Pitkow, MD
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